The worst job adverts

One thing I'll never understand why company's can't be clear and pretty straight forward in their job advert of what they are looking for and what they offer? 

If I haven't read through (in the sense of meaning from top to toe) 1000 of job advert in the last one year then non. That's actually not much,  especially when I think on the fact that there are people who read daily hundreds (although I doubt they read it through properly, it is just me being such a geek).  

And now comes the best bit. When I see that the applications closing day was last year and the advert was posted 2 days ago, I really do wonder whether these people are really that much tired or they just really that much don't care? 

The most common mistakes I see in job adverts are following and to be honest I find it messed up, unprofessional, crazy and the list could go on: 

- Tell you what the job is about in a two A4 page long description but forget to tell you what they offer (salary, pension scheme, training, bonuses etc.)

- They say they don't discriminate on race, gender, religion etc. but they clearly state at the end of the person specification that if you don't belong for example to a certain religious group unfortunately they can't process your application.

- Some establishments clearly state the salary package (amount + other bonuses if applicable) but when you get to the interview it turns out that they won't give you that as they have a plan in their head (which might - please remember this word: MIGHT - lead to the advertised salary eventually after going through a certain process of which they aren't sure either yet how is going to span out...) that they "forgot"/ didn't find important to mention in the advert so here you go... Oooopss, did you know that this is illegal? Unless of course you are so silly and desperate that you don't care, which you should!!!

- They state they want people to start immediately and after 1 month if not 2 they phone you and dear to tell you that you are a bad person because you don't remember every single detail of their advertised job and they will withdraw straight away your application. Come on, grow up... 

- Establishments stating in their job advert they want 5 * applicants and who doesn't hit the requirements won't be considered and then they forget to mention the requirements...

-  No deadlines given for applications or deadlines for the application process. OMG in a crazy and busy world and environment if you can't set deadlines for yourself and your processes, you are lost! Specially in sales and recruitment.

- The company is seeking for part time worker for minimum wage, weekly 15 hours and full flexibility. Seriously??? Who will pay my rent and food? I assume the companies' owner or even better, he sends me to apply for benefits or clearly states at the end of the job advert if you can't do it, please don't apply (£200 for the advert, advertised for one month, three applications received, one successfully hired who left after one month) :D ...#

But the best part was following when I said : "Give me a gun"... Saying in your job advert followings (this is from a real posting!):

 

"Measurement of Role Performance
1. Passing all ongoing company accreditation tests.
2. Meeting the role’s QA requirements.
3. Team fun, motivation.
4. Abiding by the XYZ “Rules of Engagement.”
a. Arrive at work promptly on time 09:00 am.
b. Dress in appropriate attire. Look smart and professional.
c. Keep personal calls, emails, web browsing to a bare minimum.
d. To abide by the Company Handbook.
e. Keeping a clean working environment and ensuring fellow employees health and safety.
f. Use all associated databases responsibly with mobile phones to be switched to silent whilst in the office.
5. Hitting monthly, quarterly and annual company targets within budget.
Review
XYZ Ltd.will review the ROLE’s performance during their 6 month probation period and once passed monthly thereafter by adopting a 360-appraisal system coupled with performance against agreed objectives.
Pay
Pay is directly linked to the performance of the key primary and secondary job responsibilities."

Are you kidding me????? 6 months stress because of people who can't manage properly and I am 100% sure don't even have the faith in the next applicant, basically unhealthy working environment where you are welcome to suffocate. Can anyone clearly tell me in a pretty straight forward way what this is? Ok, I will. As my lovely English fellow said: This is the way how some people write down things, never get to the point instead go round and round and round so this way they can make up their mind as and whenever without serious consequences (according to their childish mind flow) . This is not just unprofessional but obviously clear that this company had on board in this role messed up people, who they couldn't make to stay (which means something is really messed up with that company too) plus on the top of that no matter who goes to get that job s-/he will be treated and looked at as the previous ones who left and s-/he didn't even start... These people obviously can't find a way out they are focusing so much on the negative things which hit them in the past and they will get the same in the future too if continuing that way. There has been irresponsibility from both sides, but I am sure there was and still exists the reason for it. So why don't they just clarify what is keeping things wrong and instead of posting such an advert write a friendlier, clearer and more professional one? Well... NO BRAIN FOR THAT... (I mean there were I am sure but the top brain who is a no brain doesn't let the bottom ones to think or act) 

So this is it shortly, although I just referred generally on adverts I read and saw and they just crack my day and make me cry sometimes and wonder: am I really the only one who is such kind of a perfectionist or some companies (including recruitment agencies) really have not even the slightest clue how to write a normal job advert & recruit?

Have you ever heard of copy & paste, just do it better way ?